Humor # 89

Thanks to Jeff Lueck

SOMETIMES Sometimes ....when you cry ...
no one sees your tears......



Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
no one sees your hurt...



Sometimes...
when you are worried....
no one sees your stress......



Sometimes ...
when you are happy ...
no one sees your smile ......



 But FART!! just one time...





Everybody knows!!  

New FDA Alcohol Warnings for Booze Bottles

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Consumption of alcohol may convince you that your ex is really dying to hear from you at 4 am.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you're tougher than a really big guy named Kong.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small... or large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Thanks to Dave Lankford

TEACHER

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.

He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them today."

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."  

Her trial starts next week.