WANTING TO BE UP A TREE...A woman applying for a job 

in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the 

job.  "Look Miss," said the foreman, "do you have any

experience in picking lemons?"  "Well…as a matter of fact, 

Yes!" she replied.  "I've been divorced three times!"

GRANDMA'S BACK FROM PRISON AFTER THE TRUCK-WRECK...

Let's try a 'Do-it-Yourself' country song.  Just fill in 

the numbered blank with one of the three choices for that 

number:  I met her ___(1)___  ___(2)___; I can still recall

 ___(3)___.  1.  On the highway, At a truck stop, outside 

Kansas City. 2. In September, Ridin' shotgun, Wrestlin' 

gators. 3. That purple dress, that little hat, That sweet 

smile.  She was ___(4)___ ___(5)___.  4.  Sobbin' at the 

toll booth, Drinkin' Dr. Pepper, chewin' on a hangnail. 5. 

In the twilight, by the off-ramp, when she shot me.  And I 

knew ___(6)___; ___(7)___ I'd ___(8)___ forever.  6. No guy 

would ever love her more, that she was rotten to the core, 

she'd bought her dentures in a store. 7. I promised her, 

I knew deep down, She asked me if I'd 8. Stay with her, 

swear off booze, live off her. She said to me ___(9)___, 

But who'd have thought she'd ___(10)__, 9. our love would 

never die, there was no other guy, she loved my one blue 

eye. 10. run off, wind up, yodel.  ___(11)__,

___(12)__ goodbye.  11. with my best friend, in my Edsel, 

with her dentist.  12. You'd think at least that she'd have 

said, I now can kiss my credit cards, I never had a chance.

IN APPRECIATION OF COMPLETING I-70 RE-PAVING...A man 

walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and 

says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

     TWO KIND...To try to be open-minded, I've decided to 

pass along one of the thoughts of a famous Kiwanian 

philosopher, Aerostopit:  "There are two kinds of people 

in the world…those who believe there are two kinds of 

people in the world and those who don't."